1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.

2. You can no longer sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.

3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house only computers with laser printers.

4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.

5. You disdain people who use low Baud rates.

6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.

9. You know bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number.

10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.

The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd"?

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game.

With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $9.50, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.

He'd make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura SLX (about $90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.

He'd probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed around $30,000 during that round.

Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), he will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.

If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.

He'd make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics.

He'd make about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.

While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'd pull in about $5600.

In his last year, he made more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.

... However...

... If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 250 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.

Game over. Nerd wins

1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 
2. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher." 
3. You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom. 
4. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 
5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment. 
6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. 
7. You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems. 
8. You start using smileys in your snail mail. 
9. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. ...And you succeed.
10. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
11. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
12. You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
13. All of your friends have an @ in their names.
14. Your cat has its own home page.
15. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
16. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
17. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
18. You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
19. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
20. You tell the cab driver you live at "http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html."
21. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.